GEICO: Get the gecko away from the keyboard

I've had Geico auto insurance for as long as I've driven automobiles. They give me a discount for my loyalty.

But I've run into a snag today that makes me wonder... is it loyalty, or gullibility?

Don't get me wrong, I've never had a problem with their actual coverage, but it's 2010, and to me, that sounds futuristic. If I live in the future, I demand the ability to manage my accounts online.

The following is a bitchrant list of ways they've failed to provide what I'm demanding:

1. TECTONIC SITE: It's difficult for me to even get to the other issues, as it takes me several minutes to get from one section of the site to another. I'm not even kidding, the average pageload has been over 20 seconds, per click. I wanted to correct a typo in my address, and eventually called them with a telephone.


2. Bad user interface design: When you manage to survive the wait, and see the output of a new quote (when you're adjusting coverage), it'll tell you the overall difference, and highlight the changed values in yellow. What's missing, however, is what they changed from. For this, they have a "view previous values" link or something, which refreshes the whole page, setting you back at ground zero. I had to open a second tab to actually be able to compare prices for the coverage changes I was considering. As a sometimes web designer, it made me cry.


3. Confusing shit:There's this coverage that will pay you if you're hit by an uninsured driver, but not if they're unidentified... like... say... if this uninsured driver took off. Not that this would ever happen, right? So, this coverage is for "pays damages you are legally entitled to recover because of damage to your insured vehicle caused by uninsured motorists." Your options are:
   
   
   1. Not currently carried
   
   
   2. I decline this coverage
   
   
   3. I reject this coverage
   
   
   4. $3500
   
   
   
   So... I can choose to not carry this coverage. I can also choose to decline the right to receive damages I'm legally entitled to recover, so maybe that's my way of being super-nice to Geico, letting them avoid some legal obligation or something. Then, I can reject coverage, as if I objected to the very offer of such disgusting, basal coverage. How DARE they?. Oh, and $3500.
   
   Let me make this very clear:
   
   


4. Idiotic Session Handling: It's a good idea to have your users automatically logged out after a certain amount of time, for safety. That is... when they're inactive. Geico's wondermonkey developers set it up to time you out no matter what the fuck you're up to. Good luck actually comparing coverages when they've got the amazing combination of a site so slow it must be running on a toaster administered by a sedated monkey in a vat of cold molasses and sessions that just log you out without remorse. This is inexcusable.

In conclusion, if you're computer literate, consider other auto insurance providers. Otherwise, they're peachy!